Oh man, are we really doing this again?

Hello, everyone. My name is Luke Edwards and I was a gamer.

Well, actually, that 'was' thing is a tricky bit. I still 'game' (as much as that word can be taken as a verb), but my games changed.

I still play computer games, board games, card games, and many others.

But then there was what started it all: Games Workshop.

You've probably passed one in the street. They still exist, although perhaps smaller in number. Little black and red shops with little army men in the windows.

Many of you may have passed it with out a second thought.

But for some of us, as young impressionable kids, it was a treasure trove.

In the long run, however, there is no company in the world that is better at driving away its own customers than Games Workshop. For reasons ranging from killing our favorite games and rising prices for the unchanged models, the longer you stick around the more jaded you get.

A long time ago, myself and my friend Ben Hollas, put down Games Workshop's products for the last time...

...

...

...till now.

Is it a mistake? Probably. 

Will it all blow up in our faces? Most assuredly!

Will it be amusing? Damn right, it will!

To make it interesting, we've recalled an old favourite of Games Workshop's magazine White Dwarf: A Tale of Four Gamers. (Ok, there are only two of us and we are lapsed gamers, so the title needed adjustment).

A Tale of Two (Ex-) Gamers follows a simple set of rules:

• The competitors/victims will each select an army from the Warhammer Fantasy range.
• Each month they will have a set amount to spend on said models for said army.
• The models will be assembled and painted in their month of purchase, points are traditionally scored for progress.
• Games will be played with those armies as they grow, which once again gathers points.

"Sounds simple, but why do it?" I hear you ask.

Firstly, please put your hand up if you have something to say.

Secondly, because it allows Ben and myself to sidestep the three big problems we face in the collection of miniature wargames:

1. Faction ADD: We (OK, almost entirely 'I') have been known in the past to buy models for factions that don't associate with anything we already own. This kind of reckless purchasing of 'shiny' things is incredibly damaging to ones finances. Here we focus on a single army with laser like precision.
2. Painting Sloth: (Not to be confused with 'Painting Sloths', such as a Great Fighting Sloths of Raegar IV) We (OK, very, very much Ben) is not a fast painter. He is certainly not a bad painter, far from it, but by God is he slow. Really slow. Like glacial pace (which is fitting since most of his models have a 'Glacier' inspired paint scheme of a simple coat of white spray). In the time it has taken you to read this post Ben could have done one of two things: Read a Terry Pratchett novel (he devours those things...) or begin to think about painting. If he had done the former he would have finished by now. If he had done the latter he would have got to the letter 'a' in 'painting' and promptly procrastinated. This blog will make sure he paints on time by offering both reward in points and also the shame of failure from all of you readers shouting 'Shame!' at him each time you see him.
3. Control: We will have a set amount to spend each month. No more. Money can be carried over if we under-spend  This is absolutely key because, as with many hobbies, thoughtless over spending can and does occur. This way the hobby becomes manageable and wallet friendly.

So, the rules as they stand for us:

• One army each.
• £30 to spend each month on models (£50 in the first month to get started).
• Models are to be painted within a month of purchase or penalties will be levied (two months allowed for first month of models, as the quantity is higher).
• Points are scored for models assembled, models painted, and games won.
• Blog posts must be made informing of progress in order to claim points.

I'll write up some more specific information later, but it should be a whale of a time.

So, even if you've never heard of this 'Warhammer' and you don't have any time for this little plastic men rubbish, stick around. It'll be funny. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll watch as we extract plastic spears from our feet (SO much worse than stepping on Lego...) On the way we'll also be posting musing on a variety of topics in what is sure to be both 'enlightening' and 'hilarious' (the truth lies in the inverted commas...).

One final truth before we go: This blog is a motivational engine to keep us going in this endeavor. Without it we would likely lose pace and give up. Any comments you folks provide will only help us along.

We promise amusement, bemusement and probably confusement in equal measure.

Oh, and one more thing, if you think this sounds like fun you're welcome to join us. Feel free to run a parallel blog, or we'll add you to ours. Who knows, you might even enjoy it!

So hold tight, folks. This one could get ugly fast.