The Ogre Kingdoms? Sounds fat.

(This post has been a long time coming, stupid iPad app lost my completed version. Sorry, y'all!)

So, why Ogres?

Because Ogres have layers!

*Ahem*

Sorry, had to get that out of the way first.

Anyway, the Ogre Kingdoms, that was my choice. I guess I owe it to you folks to answer why. Obviously there are many reasons and, because this is a blog post, I am going to reel them off at you to take up space. Enjoy the ride!

1. They're bloody great ogres!

The first, and most important, point is simple: Almost the entire army list is made of big, hungry ogres. All of which, by Warhammer rules, count not as mere infantry, but as 'Monsterous Infantry'. This gives many benefits, but my favourite being an ogre specialty: when they charge they'll do impact damage when they slam into you before they even swing their swords (they're a huge mass of muscle and fat, after all). They really get the vibe of being a massive tide of flesh, an unstoppable force. There are other advantages to being big too. For example: They may look fat, but being twice the height of a man gives them twice the stride and thus they move faster than most infantry in the game. Some of them carry full size cannons and fire them from the hip! Seriously, what is not to like?

2. Gnoblars

What in the blue hell is a gnoblar? Well, they're a reasonably close cousin to the Goblins of the Warhammer world. They are numerous and, in a fight, they're crap. But let me tell you: They're so endearing! I love the little blighters, scurrying between the footsteps of their ogre masters. You can even upgrade some to trappers, making charging them a risky proposition as you never know what lies in the undergrowth between you and them... I'd love to have a horde of them, but Games Workshop doesn't make it easy financially, but half of this challenge is bargain hunting anyway. Either way, I'll have to grab myself a Gnoblar Scraplauncher. Few things in life are more fun that a catapult dragged around by a Rhinox (awesome name) scooping up dropped battlefield weapons and lobbing the back at the enemy. Mwahahaha!

3. Character

Dem ogres, dey got character, you know? Some ogres, known as Maneaters, travel the world as mercenaries and bring back traits of far flung cultures when they return. This means that you have ninja ogres, pirate ogres, and probably clown ogres (joining the circus is an option...). While the models are expensive, they are lovely sculpts and I can see myself converting some of my models to match the themes (lizard pelt wearing ogre, anyone?).

4. Big Hungry Monsters riding Big Hungry Monsters

Tusky the Thundertusk

The Ogres have two nice, and very big, monsters they tend to ride around on. First is the Thundertusk. A mammoth. A big mammoth. The riders are the real joy of the model, however. Throwing a Man-trap on a chain? Genius!

The other main monster is the Stonehorn. This things are really nasty beasts who are so old that their bones have fossilised INSIDE their bodies. Biology be damned!

Stony the Stonehorn

In addition to their riding beasts, the Ogres have access to a wonderful tool of warfare. They are no great crafters themselves, but they have come to gain access to something quite wonderful: The Ironblasters. Perhaps the largest black powder 

weapon in the Warhammer world 
and, as such, it has acquired quite a reputation on the battlefield. These immense cannons were once used by the Sky-titans in their great wars and now, many years later, the Ogres have claimed them as their own. Strapped to a huge gun carriage and pulled by an aggressive Rhinox, the Cannon of the Sky-titans is wheeled into battle and loaded with a copious number of cannon balls. Yup, I'm planning on some drive-bys!


5. Trusting your Gut (Magic)

Finally, Ogres have magic. Not the Most Powerful Magic™, perhaps, but I would argue it is the Most Powerful Magic That Includes Cannabalistic Voodoo™. Eat the flesh of a regenerating troll and gain regeneration for yourself and your men. Good times all round.

That's all for now. Next time: The first model...